But Your Kid Doesn't Look Autistic…..

But Your Kid Doesn't Look Autistic…..

I know so many parents who get this comment all the time about their child with autism, many may even get their feathers ruffled over it. I’m here to say I was one of those moms wanting to snap back sarcastically “I’m sorry, what does Autism look like again”? Or the classic one, “Yeah, I parted her hair differently today, that must be why”. This reaction of defense is totally normal, afterall we are so used to fighting for every single service and accommodation for our kids and when progression happens it’s like we are still being knocked down.  

This is one of the big issues with an invisible disability, one several parents with children on the spectrum face all.the.time! There are the side eyes for using a handicap parking space, the use of noise cancelling headphones that are mistaken for Beats, their constant dependence of an Ipad or phone in public restaurants, the meltdowns in stores mistaken as a spoiled child tantrum and the glares for using theme park accommodations. 

At the beginning of our autism journey, I was very isolated and cut off from the world of the neurotypical fighting this invisible beast. One day I was apart of that world, the next exiled! It took a couple years to switch my way of thinking and to start seeing everything from the other side and what I gained was an immense amount of patience, compassion and an entirely new level of maturity. 

As for those who comment on my child's lack of looking autistic… I don’t blame them! I feel it is up to the autism community to educate people that this is a spectrum, there is no “look” to autism. Yes there are some characteristics but they are not always seen or displayed or even recognized as being something a person with autism does. This is the reason why people are still so confused and sadly some only find out after they are introduced to autism in some way via a relative or a child of their own being diagnosed. To be fair there was a time when all of us parents with a child on the spectrum didn't know what autism was, I for sure didn't know before found out! 

So instead of snapping and if you feel the knowledge will not fall on deaf ears, take a moment to inform! The challenge of spreading autism awareness and acceptance is nowhere near close to where it should be and there is no way to accomplish this with the Us vs Them mentality either. ~Cat